Arghhh! She calls me "Dosh!"

Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult.

- Proverbs 12:16

Recognize this face? I do. I feel like I've worn it constantly for the past couple of days at home. Let me explain. I'm a fool. That's all there is to it. I've taught teens and adults alike about the importance of not giving someone the power to "make you mad." But I have recently found something that gets under my skin just about worse than almost anything I've faced up till now. I'm only telling you this because it is in type and you can't laugh directly at me, so please be gentle when you actually do see me and I'll spill the reason for my face looking similar to the picture.

Sophie has learned something new. Everytime she disagrees with me or refuses to do something that I am asking her to do, she decides to change my name. Instead of saying "daddy" while arguing and refusing to obey, she has stared saying "Dosh" which is her version of my name . Now this wouldn't bother me quite so badly if she also called me "Dosh" at other times. She doesn't. It is only when she is being defiant that she- as a 2 yr old!- refers to me in a rather condescending and beliggerant way as "Dosh." It may sound like a silly thing, but my blood boils. It's not so much the word as the specific reason she does it...she does it because she has seen me act like a fool.

Unfortunately, when it first began, I let her know very clearly that "Dosh" was not my name for her. She was to call me "daddy." When she did it again, I let her know that I did not like for her to call me that at all...and I'm pretty sure I let my frustration show...which was very foolish. Because now, AS A 2-YR OLD, she has a weapon that she knows she can use if she wants to get under my skin.

Here's the point. If a 2-yr old can recognize and utilize (and for those of you who think I'm making this up or exagerating, ask my wife!) something that I have shown annoys me, how much more capable of wrecking my emotions is someone that is emotionally, mentally, and socially equal to me and has a real reason to want to manipulate me other than simply not wanting to go to sleep!

Whether you believe the Bible is God's words for living or not, you cannot argue with the wisdom of this proverb. People who give full vent to their anger and carry their emotions and annoyances on their sleeves for all to see leave themselves in a position to constantly look like a fool because all the world knows exactly how to get to them. And the world, as you well know, is probably not as loving as my sweet little Sophie! I am working now to completely ignore it when she calls me "Dosh." But the damage is already done. It is going to take a while for her to unlearn that little trick of defiance. And what I'm more ashamed of is that she has already learned that her daddy is a fool that didn't control his annoyances. I am confident, though, that God will continue to work on me to make me more prudent, to enable me to not show my frustrations quite so quickly, and to give me the peace to hear an intended insult and overlook it. And I am confident that she will grow knowing the difference between her imperfect dad that loves her tremendously even while loving her imperfectly, and her perfect Abba who both knows how to, and actually does love her the way a dad should.

May we all seek this week to be the "prudent" people that we are called to be because we are no longer slaves to our emotions and pride; we have been called to be slaves to righteousness. And the righteousness that comes from God is quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry (James 1:19). In a word, God's wisdom is love. Maybe our growth this week simply needs to be a focus on slowing down enough when we feel our cheeks redden to remember God's love and then respond in light of that love knowing that whatever someone else (child, co-worker, friend, enemy) may have meant, it does not change who I am in Christ.

Questions for discussion:

• What "tricks" or methods have you found to help you control your emotions?
• When is the right time to display your anger visibly as opposed to the wrong time?
• If anger is from God, then it is a good thing. What is the Godly purpose of anger and how can we as Christians use it in a Godly way as opposed to the destructive self-serving way that we usually do?

Post your comments or answer(s) to one or more of these questions by clicking the comment button below to encourage others in their walk and further the discussion.