Quit Being Angry about Being Angry. Try a New Approach."- Proverbs 15:1

"A truism like this needs no comment. Quiet, unoffensive speech has been effective in preventing many a violent encounter."

That's the only comment made on this verse in the Coffman commentary series. It almost made me feel foolish for even bothering to look it up since the proverb really doesn't need much of an explanation. And yet, the truth contained in this proverb may be one of the most difficult principles to apply even in the most mature Christian life. We can all think of those moments when we absolutely lost it. We can all think of even more moments that happen on a daily basis where we are simply short with our spouses, or our children... the moments where we're not exactly out of control, but we say something in a tone of voice that is just a little more harsh than is beneficial. And the result is to simply stir up the anger that is already in the person we are trying to put in their place. What good does that do!? Well...that's the whole point of the proverb! So how do we begin to exercise this principle and not simply give mental assent to it? How does the Christian finally stop using harsh words and start using gentle words?

Let me say at the very beginning that this is an area I struggle with. I don't have it down, and I'm not speaking from expertise. However, I have noticed a pattern of when I am more and less successful and it coincides exactly with the wisdom written centuries ago by other inspired writers. I've posted Colossians 3:1-17 below. I urge you to take the time to read it, and then pick up your own Bible and read it again, because I'm convinced that the answer to our anger issues and a host of others lies within these words.

3 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³ For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. ⁴ When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

⁵ Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. ⁶ Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. ⁷ You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. ⁸ But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. ⁹ Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices ¹⁰ and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. ¹¹ Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.
¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Here's the point that I hope you saw as you read through this. When I am more disciplined about my time with God, I can tell a difference in my level of control with my words, emotions, and attitudes. When life has gotten so busy that my times in study, prayer, and quiet have taken a back seat, my family especially suffers for it. Maybe we spend too much time feeling guilty about past "harsh words" and vowing to not use them again, only to get to the next stressful situation...and do it again! Maybe we spend too much time going through that cycle without actually simply spending time with God. Paul wrote in the passage above about the new self that it is being "renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator." If we want to start looking more and more like Christ, then we need to start looking more and more at Christ. We have tried long enough to fix ourselves. It doesn't work. Let's instead VOW to go before God in scripture, prayer, meditation, and quiet and let Him start molding us into the image of His son. After all, are we actually silly enough to think that our tools are more efficient than His!?

We've recognized the truth of Proverbs 15:1 for a long time now. We've seen the way our rudeness and harshness only makes the situation worse and the relationship gap wider. It's time to move past agreeing with the truth and start acting on it. But maybe...just maybe... the first action step needs to be blocking out a time each morning, afternoon, or evening, to gain a more intimate knowledge of the One we are trying to imitate.