Is Jesus really asking us to be doormats? Matthew 5:38-42

 Photo by Flickr User daninofal

"You have heard that it was said, 'eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you, and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." 

Matthew 5:38-42

 

 

 

"I think it is perhaps these four statements, more than any others in the Discourse, that cause people to throw up their hands in despair or sink into the pit of grinding legalism. This is because the situations referred to are familiar, and they can only imagine that Jesus is laying down laws about what they have to do regardless of what else may be at issue." - Dallas Willard in The Divine Conspiracy pp. 177-178

I couldn't agree more with that statement. This teaching of Jesus is one of the hardest for me to get out of my head...not that we want to get His teachings out of our heads, just the opposite. But these statements are especially opposed to our American ideals of "personal rights," and our sense of outrage at those who "abuse the system" in order to live off of others when they have the ability to earn their keep. Not only that, but we are confronted with the choice to follow these teachings almost every single day in one way or another.

All sorts of questions present themselves and tempt us to ignore these instructions or to rationalize that Jesus didn't actually mean what He said literally. Are we to be doormats for the abusers in life? Are we to never turn any beggar down, knowing full well that we are enabling instead of helping? Are we to put our own family in harm's way financially or physically in order to follow these instructions?

These questions are all of my struggles. And I don't think I'm alone. In those circumstances we tend to feel guilty if we follow the teaching literally and guilty if we don't. How are we to be faithful to God and to Jesus' teaching and still protect our families?

I find it interesting that almost no commentators interpret Jesus' teaching here literally. To do so would be too dangerous and risky for us. Take, for instance, this comment from the Tyndale commentary of Luke: "Literal application of this verse as a rule of life would be self-defeating: 'there would soon be a class of saintly paupers, owning nothing, and another of prosperous idlers and thieves.'"

Up front, I'd like to say that while I'm not entirely sure where the balance is on this issue, it is my gut feeling that we tend to err on the side of personal safety instead of on the side of Godly obedience which sometimes involves risk taken in faith. That being said, I really appreciate, Dallas Willard's approach when he goes on to say, 

"All is changed when we realize that these are illustrations of what a certain kind of person, the kingdom person, will characteristically do in such situations. They are not laws of "righteous behavior" for those personally imposed upon or injured. They are not laws for the obvious reason that they do not cover the many cases. Additionally, if you read them as laws you will immediately see that we could "obey" them in the wrong spirit. For example, as is often actually said, 'I'll turn the other cheek, but then I'll knock your head off.'"

He also points out that the order of the sermon on the mount is important to remember. Jesus has already dealt with anger and contempt, lustful desires, and honesty. When God is in control of our attitudes and actions in those areas, the prideful and selfish ambitions that demands one's own rights will have already been dealt with and done away with. At that point, the kingdom heart will no longer need to demand personal rights. It will be motivated more for love of God and others than love of self.

Maybe the key is in figuring out what is worth fighting for. We are typically willing to fight back when we are being attacked or when we feel wronged. Maybe when we are confident in God's salvation and in His providence, we will be able to trust that He will fight for us. And perhaps we will also see that God has always called on his people to fight injustices and abuses not for ourselves, but for those who are too weak to do so for themselves. What if we who are living in the Kingdom of God were better known for fighting for the rights of others than fighting for ourselves?

May we each have enough faith in God to start erring on the side of radical obedience, not out of legalism and guilt, but out of trust that God actually knows that what worries us most about helping others and forfeiting personal rights could actually turn into massive blessings for those of us willing to trust His teaching and live these kingdom principles faithfully.

I guess the answer to the question, "Is Jesus really asking us to be doormats?" would be...maybe. It depends on what you mean by a doormat. Are those inside the kingdom of God expected to be able to take abuse and still live joyfully, trust God for vengeance instead of demanding it, and help and love others joyfully even to the point of personal sacrifice? Yes. (Mt. 5:10-12, Rm. 12:17-21, etc.)

But are we to take these instructions and apply a new set of laws that never allows me to say no when I am convinced that giving a handout would do more damage than good? I think the answer to that is no. 

But when it comes down to it, I would much rather have a heart that leans toward being in error on the first statement instead of the second, wouldn't you? After all, its hard to look at Jesus on the cross with arms outstretched praying for God to "forgive them for they do not know what they are doing" without getting the distinct impression that God tends to "err" on the side of love and grace, Himself.

(Please note that err is in quotes above...God does not err. I am speaking in human terms in order to make the point that we as humans will likely come much closer to resembling our Father when we feel like we might be "erring" on the side of grace instead of personal safety as opposed to erring on the side of selfishness and contempt thinly veiled as concern safety and "being wise.")

Waiting too long to say "I'm Sorry" is dumb! Matthew 5:25-26

Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.

- Matthew 5:25-26 

As Americans we hate waiting. We scan the Walmart lines to see which one we think we can get through the quickest. We destroy our bodies with fast "food." We gripe about lines at airports...even though the lines are for our own good! We can't stand a long wait at a restaurant. We complain when someone is supposed to meet us and they are late.

But there is at least one thing that most of us are all too ready to wait for. Sadly, we don't mind at all waiting to see if a relational storm will just blow over instead of following Jesus' advice and taking care of it now!

I don't have a ton to say about this passage because the bulk of what needed to be said, I said last week: making amends with our brothers and sisters for something we have done wrong or for something that has been perceived as us doing something wrong is such an urgent matter that it is better to postpone our worship in order to make things right with a brother or sister than to continue worshiping our mutual Father acting like we are not fighting with His beloved child.

But in verses 25-26, Jesus points out the practical reason for acting quickly when conflict brews. Whether you want to admit wrong-doing or not, in the end, it will just be much more likely to end well if you go ahead and humble yourself instead of waiting to see what will happen.

Of course He uses an earthly picture to explain the benefits of quick action in disputes. If you are being taken to court, it makes a lot of sense to do everything in your power to work things out before it actually gets to the judge because once it gets to the judge, you have absolutely ZERO say left in the matter. Whatever the judge says goes even if that means imprisonment until you have paid to the very last penny. But the judge that we are going to face some day will not just require us to pay gold or silver...the only just retribution that I can pay for wounding a child of the Eternal King of the universe is my eternal soul. THAT'S the point Jesus is making.

"I'll call them tomorrow."

"I'll wait until they cool down."

"I'll just see how things turn out because I'm not ready to deal with this yet."

"I'll wait till they apologize first."

That's about the dumbest attitude we can possibly have. What if there is no tomorrow, they never cool down, we are never ready to deal with it, or they never apologize? We will still have to stand in front of a righteous judge who will ask us to give an account for the words we have said, the attitudes we have shown, and the bitterness we have harbored....

...unless we have trusted in Jesus as Christ. And if we have done that, then we will stand before The Judge justified and free of guilt because the payment has already been made in full. But trusting in Christ means trusting his teachings about life...not just trusting his salvation. I can't have one without the other and it's silly to claim to trust in one without also trusting in the other. 

So how about it...who do you need to call today? Or you can put off thinking about it until the next time you start getting frustrated while waiting in line. Just remember that by then there might be absolutely nothing you can do about it.