What's preventing me? Acts 8:36

I have 2 four year old little girls. My wife and I are trying hard to teach them the importance of obedience and respect. If you have any advice, I'm all ears. All in all, I think we're pretty blessed. They are great girls...and that has a whole lot more to do with just the way God made them than the way we are raising them. I'm just thankful for God's grace, because we sure make a lot of mistakes!

Anyway, back to the point...

They are pretty good girls and most of the time they are good at obeying and being respectful. Of course, we are still using both rewards and punishments as needed to mold their behavior. Those are by far the biggest reasons for their good behavior most of the time. But every once in a while, one or both of them will come up and just ask what they can do to help or they will clean up their toys without being asked just so they can run and tell me to come look. I can't tell you how happy that makes me when that stuff happens!

On a different page, lately, I've been reminded that a lot of teens seem to have a concept of list keeping and guilt in Christianity. In other words, in some minds, the life of a Christian is really about being sure to do the things that need to be done and leaving undone the things that need to be left undone. And when something is left undone that should be done, or something is done that should not be done, a tremendous amount of guilt follows along with a lot of questions about whether or not the offender is still worthy and capable of receiving God's grace and salvation. If I'm honest with myself, I know that I often fall into the same trap of thinking. In fact, I have to believe that teens are not getting these ideas all by themselves. I suspect we adults have helped shape their thoughts based on our own, whether consciously or subconsciously.

Oh what I would give to simply forget all about any doomed-to-fail ideas of list-keeping in Christianity based on rewards and punishments and to have the heart of the Ethiopian eunuch who simply came to a realization of what needed to be done and wanted immediately to do it!

What a different attitude that is from mine so often as I weight the pros and cons of every decision and have to decide if the end justifies the means. How much guilt and worry about salvation could be left behind if we had hearts that understood God's grace well enough to quit beating ourselves up over things that we have not yet learned, and instead simply responded with joy and obedience as we encounter truth every day!? I'm not sure I'm being clear, so let me give an example.

If a Christian is walking in the light, then he has fellowship with God. That is because of grace...which by the way, is a completely free gift. It cannot be earned. But let's say that Christian has a history of telling half-truths. And let's say that they are so good at it and have done it for so many years, that they do not even realize they are doing it. They feel no guilt and no remorse when they commit these lies because they do not even realize they are sinning. But what if something someone says one day...or something they've read in scripture...or some prompting of the Holy Spirit leads them to finally see the error of their ways? That person now has a few choices. They can: 1. Ignore the truth and continue in their deceitful ways. 2. Feel so much shame and guilt over all of the mistakes they are now convicted of that they become paralyzed and fearful for their very soul. 3. Feel proper Godly sorrow for what they have done, thank God for pointing it out to them, and joyfully set about to make amends knowing that God has just helped them to become more like the Savior they are already and still following.

I'm begging you to see that only option 3 will allow us to continue walking in the light in fellowship with God!!

The first choice is willful disobedience and their would no longer remain a sacrifice for our sins (Heb. 10:26). The second choice is actually worldly sorrow and leads to death (2 Cor. 7:10). But the third option is exactly what John describes and expects from followers of Christ (1 John 1:9).

The same scenario could be applied to spiritual disciplines that have not been practiced before, good deeds that have not been done before, relationships that have not been pointed towards God's love before, and any other number of things that we have somehow blown past without noticing until God finally makes us notice.

The point is this...when the Eunuch was aware of what he needed to do, he obeyed...immediately. And he went on his way rejoicing (Acts 8:39). I want to live like that. I want to teach teens to live like that from the moment they first obey the gospel until the moment their faith is finally finished as it becomes sight.

Of course, the question the Eunuch asked needs to also be applied in a different way for us if we are not living like that. He asked, "what prevents me from being baptized?" And, of course, the answer was nothing so he commanded the chariot to stop and they went down into the water!

But is there something that prevents you from obeying? If you have not been baptized yet, why not? What's keeping you? Is there some lifestyle that is worth more to you than Christ? Is there a misunderstanding of God's love? Is there a controversy about doctrine because of all the different divisions inside Christianity? The simple truth is that baptism is found all throughout scripture. What could possibly prevent you from wanting it if you have seen God's love through Jesus in the gospels!?

If you have been baptized and are not obeying in some other area...what's keeping you!? What prevents you from obeying? Is it fear? Is it pride? Is it selfishness? Is there anything at all that you want more than to know and to please your Father!? If not, then what prevents you from obeying!?

There is almost nothing in this world that fills my heart with joy more than when my daughters look for ways to please me simply because they love me. Not because I will reward them, because sometimes I don't immediately. Not because they will be punished, because eventually I won't be right in front of them to monitor their behavior. But simply because they love me and want to please me. If that motivation were always their motivation, I wouldn't have to make a single rule in the house other than to treat people with love. Everything else would take care of itself.

Hmm. That sounds familiar, doesn't it? What prevents you from obeying?

Surprised at Judgment Day- Matthew 7:21-23

(Before you start reading, I need some help! Take a minute to think of suggestions for upcoming VOWs. What direction should the VOW take for 2014? Leave a comment below or shoot an email to fcocyg@gmail.com.)

Picture it this way.

Let's say that for whatever reason your name holds a lot of sway. Use your imagination...maybe you are filthy rich...maybe you are the most popular president both in the States and internationally that has ever been in the U.S....maybe you are a world-renowned athlete or actor/actress or singer or. It doesn't matter. Just have fun with it.

Got that in your mind?

Ok, now let's pretend that you have several children. Let's say that nothing negative really happens...they just start to drift away from you. There was not a defining confrontation that drove you apart, there was not a slight or an insult. They just quit returning your phone calls. They wouldn't answer your letters or your text messages. They blocked you on Facebook. And they certainly never came home. Basically, for whatever reason, they just didn't want anything to do with you personally.

However, while they never contacted you or asked for your input, they did continue to use the status of your name to accomplish what they wanted to accomplish. Some of those things were even good things. They let everyone they came into contact with know that you were their father/mother. Why? Because it opened doors that might not otherwise be opened to them. It forced others to look at them with respect and pay attention to what they said. Yes, they used the name for many purposes...but no matter how hard you begged, they wouldn't come home or renew their relationship with you.

Now let's say that process began as soon as they were teenagers and carried on throughout their life. And let's say you live and abnormally long life. You remember them as children, but you know nothing about them personally as adults.

Picture sitting down to write your will at the end of your life. But let's make it complicated. Your children all know you are near death. And they all come calling when you are on your deathbed.

Would you write your children into your will knowing they never had a relationship with you? Knowing the only reason they didn't change their name was because yours was more convenient?

Of course this analogy breaks down in many, many spots. But do you get the point? Do we use God for His name and what it can accomplish- whether good or bad- but fail to pursue a relationship with Him?

It's interesting to me that the things claimed by those whom "Jesus never knew" were the big things done in his name. Casting out demons, working miracles, prophesying.

I wonder if the reason people will go to judgment falsely assured of salvation is because we think salvation is found in the "big things" and we fail to be obedient in the "little things." The things like loving enemies; obeying our parents; abstaining from gossip, slander, and lies; welcoming the stranger, orphan, and widow; breaking down the walls of division between us (race, social class, economic standing, cultural upbringing, etc.) in Christ.

Jesus said very plainly, "If you love me, keep my commandments" (John 14:15).

No matter how many demons we cast out, prophesies we utter, miracles we perform, mission trips we go on, community service projects we participate in, or political rallies we organize in order to fight immorality in our country, if we are not obedient to his command to "love one another as [he] has loved [us]" (John 13:34), then we have not known him...and he has not known us.

For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.... We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death. ¹⁵ Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.
¹⁶ This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. ¹⁷ If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? ¹⁸ Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

¹⁹ This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: ²⁰ If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. ²¹ Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God ²² and receive from him anything we ask, because we keep his commands and do what pleases him. ²³ And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. ²⁴ The one who keeps God’s commands lives in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.

1 John 3:11-24

May we all strive not to do more and better, but to love more and better. And may that guide us into even greater works as we do good works in Jesus' name. 

Jesus didn't really mean this enemy, did he? Matthew 5:43-47

"The Christian principle, 'Love your enemies' is good....There is nothing to be said against it except that is is too difficult for most of us to practise [sic] sincerely."- Bertrand Russell

 As far as understanding goes...I very seriously doubt I need to write anything about this passage. It's not difficult to understand at all. The difficulty lies completely in the application of it. How can I possibly love someone who is hateful and spiteful toward me? Of course, the first obstacle that needs to be cleared is what it means to love. We should probably state first, that it absolutely does not mean warm fuzzy feelings toward someone. If it did, then loving enemies would simply be impossible. No, love is an action, not an emotion. I think deep down, most of us get that. But it is a truth that still needs to be pounded into our heads and our children's heads over and over again as we and they are bombarded with Hollywood versions of "true love."

And because love has everything to do with what you do and nothing to do with how you feel, Jesus tells us to do for our enemies the greatest act of love we could do for someone. He tells us to pray for them. Why? First of all, because doing good for those that are evil toward us, makes us more like our Father in heaven. Second, because doing so sets us apart from the rest of the world. Jesus said that our love for one another is what will prove to the rest of the world that we are his disciples (John 13:34-35). However, Jesus obviously meant more than just our friends and family when he said "one another" in that passage, because otherwise, the world would only see the same thing it could already see in the gentiles, tax collectors, mafia members, drug cartels, and immoral, yet close-knit families.

But let's not leave this command out in the generalities like we usually do in order to keep our conscience comfortable. Let's make it real.

Pull to the front of your mind the images of the Tsarnaev brothers. In case that name doesn't register, they are the ones responsible for the Boston Marathon bombers. Picture the face of Osama Bin Laden. Picture the family member or co-worker or friend that betrayed you or ripped you off. Picture that person who seriously damaged your children physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

Now you have the faces of some of your "enemies" in mind. Can you follow Jesus' teaching for that person? Have you ever said a prayer for a terrorist? Have you ever prayed for an enemy to be blessed?

Listen to Dallas Willard's response to Bertrand Russell's comment that I opened this article with:

He (Russell) was, of course, right as he understood it, for he was thinking of himself and others remaining what they were inwardly and nevertheless trying to love their enemies as occasion arose. Of course, they would fail, at least most of the time. As for Russell personally, some of long acquaintance with him and Russell himself knew he was filled with hatred. No wonder he found love difficult.

Russell's fallacy is the fallacy of the Pharisee. By now it should be recognizable. The Pharisee takes as his aim keeping the law rather than becoming the kind of person whose deeds naturally conform to the law. Jesus knew the human heart better than Bertrand Russell did. Thus he concludes his exposition of the kingdom kind of goodness by contrasting the ordinary way human beings love, loving those who love them, with God's agape love. This is a love that reaches everyone we deal with. It is not in their power to change that. It is the very core of what we are or can become in his fellowship, not something we do. Then the deeds of love, including loving our enemies, are what that agape love does in us and what we do as the new persons we have become.

I believe this is exactly what John meant when he said, "we love because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19).

I remember hearing my brother-in-law passing on advice he had been given to one of my brothers who was very frustrated with a misbehaving brother in Christ. Barry said, "do you know what you need to do? You need to pray for him. Not that he will change, but just pray that God will bless him." And I can't remember the exact words after that, but Barry made it clear that the real reason to pray for God to bless the other person was because praying that prayer changes the pray-er.

How can we ever learn to love our enemies? We learn how God loves us. The heart that is truly touched by that agape love of God is stripped of pride, defensiveness, and selfishness and is freed to truly love others no matter what they have done. And so the child becomes more like the Father.

Breaking the Divorce Cycle- Matthew 5:31-32

"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery."

Matthew 5:31-32

I have to be honest...I originally wanted to skip this passage. Not because it is not an important passage or a teaching that needs to be looked at, but because I feel like divorce is such an obvious problem in someone's spiritual life that we tend to pick on it constantly while ignoring sins of anger, bitterness, slander, etc. Part of me wants to skip over this passage to spare the pain that this teaching must bring to those who have been touched directly or indirectly by divorce...and that is most of us. Having said that, though, it does touch so many of us and especially so many of our children and teens today who are affected by it without participating in it, that it would be negligent not to address Jesus' teaching on marriage when it comes up in scripture.

I will not attempt to draw the lines on who is and who is not eligible to remarry. Enough other people have argued that and come to conclusions that if you are looking for guidance on that, you can find it easily. I think we would be better served to go further back before someone is in the position of being divorced or remarried and really teaching ourselves and our children why marriage is so important to God and why He says, "I hate divorce" (Malachi 2:16).

I don't have to talk to you about the pain and the damage that is done to the couples who get divorced and to their children if they have any. You already know it and have felt it.

I really don't even need to remind you about God's plans for marriage. We all pretty well recognize that marriage is supposed to be "till death do us part."

Instead, let's just look briefly at how Jesus' teaching about divorce in this context fits into the Sermon on the Mount.

First, it's worth noting that Jesus once again begins with the current understanding of the law of Moses and then elevates it to a higher plateau. At the time, the practice was that men could divorce their wives for pretty much any reason they wanted (sound familiar in our context?) and they were still "good men" as long as they gave her a certificate of divorce so she could have proof that she was no longer married. Jesus says that this understanding of "righteousness" was absurd and points out that such divorce culminates in adultery of pretty much all parties involved. The disciples, mired in their current way of thinking, thought this to be such a difficult change compared to what they were used to, that they decided it would be better not to be married at all! (Matthew 19:10) But they had not yet understood the possibilities of life and the power of the Spirit inside the kingdom of heaven!

Second, is it any surprise that Jesus began the sermon with uncontrolled anger and contempt, and then discussed lustful perversions and adultery in the heart, and THEN talks about divorce. Can you imagine how many marriages could have been saved if the spouses had been living according to the kingdom principles of anger and lust? Can you imagine how many future marriages can be saved if children and teens today, and even spouses-- whether they are already struggling, are healthy, or are still in the honeymoon-- really decided to be like the wise man who built his house on the rock and put Jesus teaching about anger and lust into practice over and over again in each circumstance they rear their ugly heads?

I have a friend named Chris who I admire greatly. We were discussing how peaceful he and his wife always are and how they are my role models for marriage. I jokingly said that they should teach a marriage class even though they would still be considered "young marrieds." His response was typical Chris. "It's easy. Just do what the Bible says." It's been a while since we had that conversation so I may be paraphrasing, but that's pretty close. And he is absolutely right.

But where does that leave us now when we are already in the middle of so many broken families and so much hurt? It does no good to despair in guilt and for me or other church leaders to continue adding to the pain that divorced people have already been through once they are working to restore relationships with family and with God. It also does no good to ignore the fact that divorce tends to be a cycle that children repeat in their own marriages once they have experienced. But does that mean that divorced parents who feel no hope and the church should add more pain and judgment to an already painful situation? I don't believe so. Instead I will point to another passage that I think should guide our thoughts about ourselves and others and serve as a lens to look into mirrors and into other's eyes with.

Paul lists a lot of different categories of "unrighteous" people who will not inherit the kingdom of God in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. Among those are the sexually immoral and the adulterers. Based on Jesus' teaching about the results of divorce for any reason, we are at least not many steps removed. Of course, we also know from many other passages that liars, divisive people, slanderers, and children who disobey parents, as well as any other sins and acts of unrighteousness could also be included in Paul's list. But verse 11 is what I am interested in.

"Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God."

 To parents of teens and children, I say model and teach every day what it means to live life inside the kingdom of God as regards the teachings about anger and purity of heart so your children will never have to see divorce. Remind them constantly that as the body of Christ, we are washed from our old sins, sanctified (set apart) for a different style of life, and justified in front of the righteous almighty Judge. Now we are free to live like we are those things. To married couples I say the same thing. To divorced parents of teens, I say remember that if you are in Christ, you are also now washed, sanctified, and justified like every other sinner in the body of Christ. And now you are free to live in those attributes like everyone else. And to young and old children alike who have witnessed divorce in their family and are suffering from it or fearing repeating the same mistakes in your future marriage...I say to remember that you are washed, sanctified, and justified and can break the cycle with the power of the Spirit of God that is living inside you. And I say to remember that your parents, if they are in Christ, are now washed, sanctified, and justified as well. Help them to remember that and to live like it.

Marriage is messy, but if lived according to the kingdom of God, it is a beautiful and wonderful blessing. Divorce is messier...but I don't believe there is any sinful situation or any sinner that is so messy that God cannot redeem them. May we all live inside that hope and promise and may the cycle of divorce in America's churches finally be broken as people realize this and live kingdom principles.

Is Self-mutilation the key to kicking lust out the door? Matthew 5:29-30

photo by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/quinnanya/

If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. 

Matthew 5:29-30

Regarding Jesus' teaching in Matthew 5 about looking at a woman to lust after her, Dallas Willard says this:

"In other words, all the elements of a genuine act of adultery other than the  overt movements of the body are present in such a case. The heart elements are there. Usually the only thing lacking for overt action is the occasion. When the heart is ready, the action will occur as occasion offers. Just as the thief is the person who would steal if circumstances were right, so the adulterer is the one who would have wrongful sex if the circumstances were right. Usually that means if he or she could be sure it would not be found out. This is what Jesus calls 'adultery in the heart.' In it, the person is not caring for, but using, the other. The condition is wrong even though sexual relations do not occur."    (The Divine Conspiracy. p. 161)

In our verses 29-30, Jesus lays out what I feel are very practical teachings for how to best avoid sexual temptation....and it makes absolutely perfect sense. What happens if your leg is infected to the point that it cannot be saved? No one wants to lose a limb, but almost all of us recognize the common sense of sacrificing a diseased limb in order to save the rest of the body.

If only we could see that principle so clearly when it comes to the part of us that is eternal!

But of course, we rarely see that and, therefore, Jesus' comments about cutting off hands and plucking out eyes seem to be simply exaggerations. But the truth is that it would actually be better to cut hands off and pluck eyes out if that would ensure entrance into the kingdom of heaven!

Now practically speaking, I'm not suggesting that we do that. But if we felt like that were the only way, wouldn't it be worth it!? Most commentators lean more towards the understanding that there are certain relationships and/or circumstances that need to be cut out of our lives if we know they are causing us to sin. If your boyfriend/girlfriend is tempting you to think things you shouldn't...break up with them! Isn't it better to be lonely and "miss out" than to be thrown into hell!? If you cannot keep away from certain sites or ads on the internet, then get rid of the internet! Isn't it better to miss out on a convenience than to have your whole body thrown into hell because you can't say no to the pop-ups!? If someone at work dresses inappropriately and you can't avoid them and can't quit thinking about them...switch jobs! Isn't it better to sacrifice job security than to sacrifice your eternal security!?

I think we would all do well to apply these principles for ourselves and our children in whatever way we need to...no TV or internet in bedrooms, no internet on phones if necessary, no late-night TV, restrictions on what types of movies are worth paying money for and what types will cost us out souls...whatever steps we need to take.

But the truth is that we could cut all of those things out- indeed, we could go so far as to take Jesus literally and cut limbs off and pluck eyes out- and still not have our heart in the right place. Willard takes a different view of Jesus' teaching that I think is worth looking at.

"Jesus is saying that if you think that laws can eliminate being wrong, you would, to be consistent, cut off your hand or gouge out your eye so that you could not possibly do the acts the law forbids.

Now, truly, if you blind yourself, you cannot look on her at all. And if you sufficiently dismember yourself, you will not be able to do any wrong action. This is the logic by which Jesus reduces the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees to the absurd.

...Of course being acceptable to God is so important that, if cutting bodily parts off could achieve it, one would be wise to cut them off....But so far from suggesting that any advantage before God could actually be gained in this way, Jesus' teaching in this passage is exactly the opposite. The mutilated stump could still have a wicked heart. The deeper question always concerns who you are, not what you did do or can do. What would you do if you could? Eliminating bodily parts will not change that....

 The goodness of the kingdom heart, by contrast, is the positive love of God and of those around us that fills it and crowds out the many forms of evil. From that goodness come deeds of respect and purity that characterize a sexuality as it was meant by God to be. (The Divine Conspiracy. pp. 167-168) (Emphasis added)

Where is your heart? Is it just fear of getting caught by your family or others...or even God that is your primary motivator in avoiding lust? If it is, then you are doomed to fail as long as you have any members attached to your body that can overcome their fear and long for sex outside of God's plans. On the other hand, if you fill your life with so much love for God by burying yourself in His words for you (the Bible), by filling your time with His purposes for you, and by filling your heart with God's love for others through you, then the battle will already have been decided because Jesus has already defeated sin and has given you the victory.

I have no doubt that we would all do well for ourselves and our children to think about what areas need to be cut off or plucked out because they consistently trip us up. But I am also absolutely convinced that we will always be able to find a way around our precautions if our heart is not filled with God. Therefore, what will you do today to fill your heart and the hearts of your sons and daughters with enough Love and Light that the Light will drive out the darkness?